all worth it

So...life has been a roller coaster of hard times the past few years. I know I know, enough already. But bare with me (or stop reading, its up to you).

Though I know that my trials are mostly because I need to learn a thing or two or 10...sometimes I get little messages from people saying what an example I've been to them and how much they look up to me and stuff like that. And while most of the time I think they are being too kind...it makes the hard times worth it, that they are making a difference not only in my life but in others too. Its nice to hear once in a while that I'm doing better than I think. I really try to stay positive and be happy through it all. Sometimes its not easy and I feel like people can tell that. But I'm glad sometimes it also seems like I have things under control.

Something else that has been on my mind: Sometimes I think one of the reasons I have the health problems I have is so that I can empathize with others later in life (or now too). Because I know for myself that people who haven't been really ill for long periods of time just dont get it. They think I should be able to do more than I can...or they start to think I'm faking it when it goes on for long periods of time...who knows. But sometimes when I'm talking to some one who hasn't been chronically ill...they just simply dont get it. I dont know how to explain it...but I can just see in some peoples eyes that they dont understand. And I mean I guess I cant really hold it against them...like I said they just dont get it, and thats not their fault...I guess it can just get frustrating. So because I have been there, I can feel for people. When some one tells me they have celiac disease (or other chronic illness)...I really feel for them...not just oh celiac, darn. Anyways....trials-they serve purposes. Sometimes learning the hard way is the only way to really learn something.