uuuuuhhhhhhgggg

So I went to the valentines dance tonight....which my date was actually really fun. I was prepared for the worst (ok not the worst....but I was told he's shy and doesn't get out much....I was like oh two of a kind-this could be interesting)and was pleasantly surprised! I had a lot of fun! You know what my problem is? I'm a great date when I don't really care if the person likes me or its just for fun....but when I care what impression I make or what will come of it...then I'm awkward and shy. So the people I want to like me get awkward shy me....and the people I'm just like sweet a casual fun date-don't care if they like me sort of thing, I'm a great date! Or at least better anyways. But all that really wasn't the point of this post....

I feel like a horrible person! There's this guy I've seen at a few dances and he's always by himself and just walks around creepily with wide eyes and massive dark circles around his eyes. He has a piercing stare and he freaks me right out. He'll watch some one for a while (AKA this time me) and then he'll walk right through the middle of the group right past the person he was just creeping on and then keep walking. Its really weird. I don't want to sound like a silly girl who's like oh my gosh hes such a creep....no this guy legit gives me the heebie geebies. So he joined our dancing circle once and was semi across from me...and I accidentally made eye contact with him (shiver) and then the next slow song, that happened to be pretty quick after that...he asked me to dance. He was pretty awkward but we had semi normal conversation the whole time. I did my best to be nice and polite and resisted the urge to look anywhere but his eyes. Then the song ended and he kept talking to me. I should have told him I had to go to the bathroom like I wanted to but I just kept being nice. Sometimes I am too nice for my own good. Then he pulled out his phone and looked at it, and I was like oh no please no....then he told me how he has bad luck because his phone broke today AND he got a speeding ticket. Rats. But I thought I was safe. Then he put it back in his pocket but asked me for my phone number anyways. Here's why I feel like a horrible person: I straight up lied and said I didn't have a phone right now. Horrible? Some one please tell me I'm not horrible. I've never lied like that to some one...I've evaded sometimes, but I've never straight up lied like that. I've had guys ask for my phone number that I really didn't want to give it to(because I dont even know them, we just met kinda thing)-but I did anyways because what can  you really do? Say no? No....you don't do that. Well this time I did. I feel horrible but I'm not exaggerating....I'm not the only one that he creeps out...it makes me shiver to just think about it. But I still feel really bad. Maybe he has some problem with his health that gives him raccoon eyes. I don't think so though because he doesn't act normal in every other way. I'm going to tell myself it was a righteous judgement and he could be dangerous and not good to associate with. He seriously gives me the vibe that he could be one of those people that seems all nice and just wants to hang out...then they turn bad and are creepy stalkers and if you try to get rid of them they pull a knife on you or something else like that. Yup that's what I'll tell myself. Its better to just not give him my number than to give it to him and then ignore his calls and/or texts right? Or make up excuses a million times. He doesn't seem like the kind that would take a hint. I still feel bad but I feel like it wouldn't have been a good idea to give him my number either.